We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
