real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
