your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
