It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
