There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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