11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
