i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
