Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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