Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
did i walk over a car last night?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
