You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
