dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
