I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
