Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
another moral hangover. fuck.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
