i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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