I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My breasts were aching with rage.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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