I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize