Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
