unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
