Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
