For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I wish you could order shots online.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
