Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
