He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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