Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
