im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
