i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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