This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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