Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
