Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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