Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
