I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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