A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
