you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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