So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
