Porn is love you can see.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
