Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
