So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
