So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize