Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
