when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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