Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize