I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
