3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
