I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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