im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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