and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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