alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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