where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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