last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
