you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Let's paint friendship bongs
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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