my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
