you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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