CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
