It's Friday. Sex?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
