everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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