to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
