Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
