Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
