Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Hippo gnu deer
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
