thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
