He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
