Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
