yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
