The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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