the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
