Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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