hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
